Last night, we did things I’ve never done before. I enjoyed every minute. I suspect that you have more experience sexually than that. I don’t want...you to become frustrated with me. You know I’m a virgin. I always wanted to come to my marriage as a virgin. That’s not as important now as it once was.”“Stop. Agnes, I love you and respect you. I don’t want to push you or me. Yes, I’m experienced. My last girl left me because she wanted to travel and screw in every state in the Union. She taught me. “Sure you do!” She teased. “You’re a man and most men look at women. We both appreciate a beautiful, sexy-looking woman.”The waitress appeared with their order, and Dan gave her a good tip. “Your rings look new, are you on your honeymoon?” She asked.“Yes, we are!” Wendy beamed proudly. The waitress looked at Dan, hesitant to say anything about his striking similarity to Tom Hanks. Was he a famous actor or not? The number one house rule was, no name dropping and movie star fucking.Dan and Wendy. The best possible result is nearly always hiding in a bucket of sweat, so your good slacker says 'thanks, but no thanks', settles for the best sweat-free result possible. Almost as good and a whole lot easier.Poor ol' Timmy was dating two girls, getting all strung out deciding which one he really loved, who did he want to give his heart to, usual college dilemmas. I gave him words of wisdom, choose the one gives the best head, stuff like that, and another coupla beers, gotta couple smiles outa. And at least her stomach wasn't too bad — she hadn't made it as far as the "let's all get a kebab" stage as far as she remembered.What did she remember?Well there was the last vodka and she and her friends had gone to the powder room. She'd wanted a cigarette but they didn't allow smoking in the bar. The fire door at the end of the corridor had been propped open and she'd stepped outside. One of the elves had been out there. He'd given her a light and told her he thought her dress looked nice.
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